Our self-confidence and empowerment is positively or negatively influenced by our common everyday language. The words we express are powerful. They create feelings and influence our actions. We want to use empowering versus disempowering word phrasing following our “I” or “I am.”
Daily practice of expressing empowering language will improve your self-confidence and control over your life – how you feel and what you do during both good and challenging times.
This article offers further details on the benefits of remaining mindful of the language used, with a focus on practicing empowering versus disempowering language. Also, it provides information on the energetic (positive or negative) influence of words on emotions and actions.
What Are The 10 Common Disempowering Word Phrasing To Discontinue Saying To Feel More Confident And Empowered?
To become a more confident and empowered person, learn ways to reframe these 10 commons word phrasing when referring to the self.
1. I AM NOT/I’M NOT:
This word phrasing is often used to bring attention to attributes – whether desired or not – a person does not believe they have (e.g. I’m not smart or I’m not mean). Phrasing your thoughts in such a way brings the mental awareness to lack. When it is used to illustrate what you don’t believe you have, it highlights inadequacy (e.g. “I’m not good enough”) and it creates unpleasant emotions.
2. I CANNOT/I CAN’T:
This phrasing focuses on what isn’t possible or limitations, which influences how we view ourselves. When we often repeat statements that highlight powerlessness or inabilities, we view ourselves as being powerless or incapable. Ultimately, how we view ourselves will dictate whether we reach our full potential.
3. I HATE:
The word hate is often associated with things that are disliked and it creates a lot of intense negative energy. Living life from a hate-filled state produces harm and destruction– both internal (e.g. agitation and illness) and external negative consequences (e.g. illogical thinking and poor decision-making).
4. I HOPE/I WISH:
To express “I hope” or “I wish” sounds positive, but it also has an undertone of uncertainty that what you desire will become a reality or it’s beyond your reach. This phrasing implants a seed of doubt. Ultimately, there is a decrease in power of what can be because you’re not living life from a place of certainty or expectancy from a faith that it is.
5. I WANT:
The word “want” implies lack or deficiency. This phrasing highlights not having everything to effectively to live well. It’s not a good feeling living life from a place of lack – not having enough – to live it well. Ultimately, remaining in this emotional state does not produce positive experiences.
6. I SHOULD:
This word phrasing illustrates a sense of obligation with whatever follows it. Also, it creates negative emotions from being upset with the self for not completing something or communicates unwilling engagement with an experience. There’s an underlying message of being a helpless participant in the activity and not having the freedom to choose. Unwilling engagement in something creates negative emotions like resentment, which can build to toxic levels, and causes problems.
7. I WILL TRY/I’LL TRY:
The word ‘try’ means to make an attempt to engage in an action. Well before engaging in the action, there’s an assumption of struggle or failure and that the effort will not be good enough to produce the desired results.
8. I HAVE TO:
The words ‘have to’ highlight helplessness. It indicates being stripped of personal ‘choice’ and having some outside control over the action. This word phrasing create emotions such as frustration and resentment, which negatively taints your experience with the activity.
9. I DON’T WANT:
Often the words “I don’t want” are used when referring to something that is not desired. Your mind immediately focuses on whatever is negative and undesirable which further influences your emotional energy. You increase the chance of attracting what you’re frequently mentally focused on, even if it is undesired.
10. I NEED:
It is a negative energetic impact to express “I need” due to the underlying message of lack and desperation. The word phrasing creates internal agitation and tension.
What Are Empowering Word Phrasing About The Self That Will Help With Feeling More Self-Confident And Empowered?
1. I AM/I’M versus I am not/I’m not:
It’s very important to remain mindful of the words and phrases that follow your “I am/I’m,” because you become your words. Your “I am” is a declaration that affirms whatever follows it, and it soon becomes your reality.
It’s best to focus on who you are or desire to become versus focusing on who you are ‘not.’ As you’re speaking, your subconscious is taking in everything you say, and it will give you whatever you focus on – good or bad. Our subconscious mind is not capable of deciphering that whatever follows ‘not’ is something that is undesired, therefore let’s ensure there aren’t any mistakes and appropriately direct our words.
Often we express what we do not want, versus expressing our words in a way that highlights what we desire. It’s a good practice to express statements in the positive, which will further help you create what you desire. Focus on following your “I am/I’m” with positive and powerful words that give a good description of who you are or the qualities you aspire to be.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I am a go-getter” or “I’m a hard-worker” versus expressing “I’m not a lazy person.”
The first two statements are positively and powerfully worded, which further creates opportunities for you to embody the words. Expressing “I’m not lazy” is negatively worded and includes a word choice (“lazy”) that creates negative emotional energy due to the meaning of the word. The disempowering statement brings too much attention to the word ‘lazy’ and your mental awareness will quickly highlight instances of you being what you’ve indicated you are not or do not desire portraying, which then creates negative emotions and then limits your behaviors to create it as your reality.
2. I WILL versus I cannot/I can’t:
It is much more empowering to clearly express what you are able and willing to do, versus phrasing it negatively. Expressing statements in the positive not only helps your brain to practice thinking positively, but it clearly highlights it being a conscious choice and that you are firmly standing behind your decision.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I will remain honest when completing my taxes” versus “I can’t cheat on my taxes.”
The first statement is bold and illustrates firmness in you making a choice. In contrast, to say “I can’t cheat on my taxes” communicates inability but technically anyone can do so. Cheating on taxes is something that can be easily done by all, and not doing so is a choice. Using “can’t” is incorrect and it does not highlight the firm determination and choice.
The word “can’t” is often not an accurate communication of what is possible since we often use the word to associate a lot of activities that we can easily do. For example, someone may say “I can’t sing” when it’s incorrect if they used their voice to express the words. Often that statement is expressed to communicate thoughts that they do not consider themselves to have a quality singing voice. A more accurate statement would be something like “I do not have a good singing voice.”
3. I LIKE/I LOVE versus I hate:
It’s much more empowering to rephrase statements to illustrate what you like versus focusing on what you don’t like. When we focus on what we dislike or ‘hate,’ it creates negative internal energy and quickly translate to poor engagement with ourselves or others (e.g. put-downs, arguments, yelling).
We often use the word ‘hate’ to reference something we dislike or disagree with. It’s completely fine to note what you don’t like, but learning to express disagreeing thoughts and desires without using the word ‘hate’ will increase positive life experiences. In doing so, you will be the driver of attracting more positive energy starting from within and it translates into increased number of positive engagements.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I like having a fast and easy commute” versus “I hate traffic.”
Being in slow-moving traffic will naturally create a lot of irritation and frustrations. Discussing the experience by using words like ‘hate’ will create negative internal and opens you up to attract further negativity. For example, expressing “I hate traffic”may add negative fuel to the natural irritation where it builds to anger the more your think and talk about it, which then builds and further disrupt your day because your negative energy translated to negative interactions with others. Negative energy can very easily snowball to a catastrophic size, and be quite destructive.
4. I WILL versus I hope/I wish:
It’s empowering to firmly and clearly state what you desire or what you choose to do. To ‘hope’ or ‘wish’ has implications of doubt and uncertainty that what you desire will occur. We must remove disbelief or doubt because it creates negative energy around whatever you’re referring to. To live life from a place of positive expectation is a strong energetic force which can create amazing experiences. It communicates to our subconscious and outside word that we are determined confidence that no matter what happens, what follows will occur.
Also, the negative energy creates internal tension which can easily increase into desperation. We’re infusing positive energy into the situation by using word choices that portrays having firm belief in whatever we’re speaking about. That positivity helps us to be much more effective because we’re living life from an emotionally relaxed and grounded place, which influences the choices that helps create our reality.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I will complete the task” versus “I hope to complete the task.” Expressing “I will complete my degree” is firmer and likely to occur, versus expressing “I wish I can complete my degree.”
The empowering statements are expressed in a way that illustrates what follows is expected and will occur. The latter examples creates are phrased in a way that does not communicate firm determination and it allows room for the possibility of no follow-through.
5. I DESIRE versus I want:
Both words express something that is appealing, but each creates a different internal reaction. To desire creates positive and affirming internal responses. Whereas, being in a state of ‘want’ creates negative agitation and increases the possibility of engaging from a place of desperate reactivity. One creates much more relaxing internal state, while the other leads to tension and unease.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I desire confidence” versus “I want confidence.”
Using the word ‘desire’ does not immediately create negative energy because it does not immediately bring to mind that what follows it is something that is missing. It can create internal agitation that leads to making decisions from a place of desperation. Alternatively, using the word ‘desire’ allows you to approach experiences in a much more relaxed state which will help you easily connect with solutions and opportunities.
6. I WILL/I WOULD/I CAN/I COULD versus I should:
We often express “I should” to highlight something that must be completed but isn’t getting done. It’s best to focus on what you can complete, versus solely highlighting whatever isn’t getting done, especially if there isn’t immediate follow-up action.
The word ‘should’ highlights an obligation or undesired activity when the word is used in connection with something that we have regret or guilt for not completing. Therefore, the word “should” creates a lot of negative energy due to the undertone of regret or guilt from not completing something.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I will tidy my home” or “I can soon tidy my home” versus “I should tidy my home.”
Choosing to express what you will or can do is much more empowering because it does not indicate a ‘have to’ relationship with whatever is being highlighted.
7. I WILL/I’M WILLING TO/I’LL DO versus I will try/I’ll try:
The word “try” implies uncertainty, and most often quickly interpreted that an activity or task will not be completed with optimal effort. It makes whatever follows it unclear and ambiguous.
Instead of trying, clearly state what will be completed and actually do it. To express ‘try’ communicates uncertainty and leaves room for excuses. Using words that clearly states what you’re committing to do will increase the chance of successful follow-through.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I will meet you for coffee” or “I’m willing to meet you for coffee” or “I’ll get the coffee” versus “I’ll try to get the coffee.”
The empowering statements clearly expresses an already set determination to complete the activity, and it does not leave matters in an ambiguous state.
8. I CHOOSE TO/I GET TO versus I have to:
We have choice about everything we do, which include choosing not to do something. Phrasing statements from a place of ‘choose to’ or ‘get to’ creates positive energy because it highlights what the person has, thereby permitting opportunity to feel gratitude.You will attract other positive emotions and experiences from a positive and grateful place. Positive emotions attract more positive emotions. Engaging from a place of ‘have to’ indicates there isn’t much choice which creates negative emotions, and it taints what follows. Negative emotions attract more negative emotions.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I choose to go to work” or “I get to go to work” versus “I have to go to go work.”
The empowering examples illustrate a perspective that affirms that working is a conscious choice, keeps you grounded in a positive emotional state, and highlights your awareness that what follows is an experience that offers other opportunities (e.g.being employed creates income to live the desired lifestyle). The empowering examples places you in a more positive and grateful internal state.
9. I AM (I’M)/I PREFER/I REQUIRE versus I don’t want:
Most of us have created a poor habit of expressing ourselves using negative phrasing. Partly, it’s due to our brains negativity bias but it’s also driven by learned behavior from what is observed. Repeatedly focusing on what you don’t want further strengthens thoughts and images about the very thing that is undesired.
We must retrain ourselves to speak positively.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I am an honest and dependable person” versus “I don’t want to be a dishonest and inconsistent person.” Another example is “I require honesty and dependability” versus “I don’t want dishonesty or unreliability.”
The empowering examples communicate the same information, but do so in a way that is positive and empowering. Also, the empowering statements plant the seed into the subconscious mind for both the person and whoever listens. Immediately the mental perspective shifts toward something much more affirming.
10. I DESIRE/I CHOOSE versus I need:
To engage in life from a place of “need” will negatively impact your inner world, and outer engagement with the world. There’s negativity that arises from being in a state of desperation. It implies being in a state of hardship and extreme poverty of whatever follows. Once again, not approaching life from a relaxed state which limits ability to discover solution and engage in helpful action steps.
We are most productive when operating at a relaxed state.
EXAMPLE: It’s empowering to express “I desire more income” or “I choose to have more income” versus “I need more income.”
The words “desire” and “choose” produces emotions that are much more positive and freeing, and it highlights it being a conscious choice. The positive energy state allows you to be in a better place to engage in any necessary action steps to get what you desire.
In Closing…
Keep in mind, improving how you speak is a process. You will have much more positive results when you are kind and patient with yourself.
So ask yourself:
What words do I often say that are disempowering?
What could be a strategy to help me check and reframe disempowering words?
What practices can I engage in to effortlessly express empowering words?
