This article will offer guidance on how to deal and address life problems that first starts from inside of you.
We all will experience problems in our lives. It is the natural ups and downs that comes with living. We love the ups, but really struggle with the downs.
Often, when we are experiencing problems we want to focus on and place blame for whatever is happening outside of us. Yet, starting with managing what is happening inside of us is the best place to focus because it will lead to our effective management of outside problems. Our inner world is our starting place in facilitating the kind of solutions and life experiences we have.
Your outer reality is partly a result by what is first created inside of you. The thoughts, attitudes, or assumptions you focus on directs your everyday decisions and actions. They become a filter to ‘how’ you interpret and engage with yourself, others and the world – especially during life problems.
The reality is, we cannot have absolute full control of all aspects of our life experiences. We do not live in a bubble. We must interact with other people, and their choices can impact our experiences. Nevertheless, even with having to live and interact with other people’s choices, there are many things that are within our control with regards to the potential impact.
Your inner reality will direct the difference between you appearing reactive versus responsive to life problems, especially when addressing relationship problems.
How would that look like? Reacting is the automatic, often fear-based, negatively charged interactions that often exacerbates the problem. In contrast, responding to problems directs a conscious, much more present, and calmly charged interactions that help you quickly tap into solutions. A responsive engagement will produce positive outcomes and often addresses root issues.
Say to yourself: “It starts with me.”
HOW DOES AN INWARD-FOCUSED APPROACH LOOK LIKE?
Having an inward-focused approach starts with fully knowing who you are – your thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and being clear on what you want. Then, you must give a voice to what is within.
It include making conscious choices that matches what you value and how you want to live your life. In doing so, they serve as a source of prevention against having to deal with a lot of problems, because most of our problems can start from making poor choices that goes against who we are and what we need to live well.
You want to practice knowing how to create an inner world that can help you stay calm to better tap into your personally effective solutions. It will be your positive anchor during both good and challenging experiences.
HOW CAN YOU DEAL WITH LIFE PROBLEMS FROM AN INSIDE-OUT APPROACH?
- Be aware and attentive of your core needs, applying your behaviors to your values and going after your goals
- Identify key characteristic traits you want to embody, even when you are experiencing problems (e.g. calm presence)
- Repeat thoughts that builds you up versus tear you down, especially when you are experiencing problems
- When faced with problems, ask yourself “What factual evidence do I have that this is a real problem?”
- If it is a genuine factual based problem, acknowledge it as such
- Take a moment to breathe, and continue to take them as needed
- Assess how you may have contributed to it by asking yourself questions – “How did I get here?”/”Did my past choices create this?”/”What can I do differently not to experience this problem again?”
- Complete brainstorm exercises to name all the possible solutions, identifying the pros and cons
- Engage in activities that give emotional balance by incorporating fun and play
- Have family members and friends who are there to offer support and constructive guidance
Set the intention to have an inner reality where you are the driver of your life – consciously making constructive choices – and consistently practice behaviors that can help you respond versus react to ALL life experiences.
So, ask yourself:
What kind of inner reality do I choose to have?
What thoughts do I need to repeat to help create it?
How can I live it, on a daily basis?
