Learning how to work with others is an invaluable asset for personal development. It can help with expanding your knowledge and abilities, meanwhile quickly supporting you toward achieving desired outcomes and goals. Yet, for many of people, it is very difficult to collaborate and partner with others. The attitude around doing so is that it is “useless,” or “too frustrating to have to deal with it.” Yet, it is a very necessary aspect of living well and achieving personal goals. Generally, the ability to partner with others will support your personal development.
There are challenges adjusting to differences in approach and communication styles. Frequently, we quickly focus on the problems and it overshadows the possibilities or positives of the partnership. It is much too easy for us to solely focus on the differences and problems.
If there are challenges, first look at yourself to see how you can adjust and improve the partnership. Because, often, there is an attitude of self-importance that is a major obstacle. If it is not addressed, there will be little to no progress made in other areas for improvements.
The online Merriam-Webster dictionary provides the following primary definition for the word ego, “the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world.” Put simply, the ego is the “I” of a person that defines their self-esteem. It is the thinking, feeling, and doing self; it is shaped by our beliefs, past experiences, how we see ourselves and the attitudes we rehearse. Interestingly, the term is also coined with the following synonyms: “pride, pridefulness, self-esteem, self-regard, self-respect.”
Too much of anything, is not a good thing. The same is applied to the ego. Although it is important for people to have a strong sense of self, a strong “I” is limiting when it does not offer room for flexibility and growth. Automatically, it may lead to resist and block anything that is contrary to the familiar – what we want, how we want things, or having things stay how they were ‘always’ done.
When our egos are too inflated and driving our attitudes and actions, we are not exposed to different perspectives or approaches. Consequently, it will not offer room to expand the mind and engage in personal development. Individual uniqueness is a great thing, but make sure you are not controlled by an ego that will not allow room for differences.
Individual differences are very apparent when working with others. During such instances, it is easier to look outside of us when thinking about or discussing the challenges. Quickly, the focus is on how the other person(s) is wrong – how they are limiting us. Yes, there are times someones approach (ex: work ethics or beliefs) is a such stark contrast that it just will not work; but entering it with an ego ready to have control over every matter will limit it from being a successful partnership.
If there is a pattern of consistent struggle working with others or completely avoiding any collaboration, it is time to pause and look internally. and see how you are contributing to the difficult experiences. Sometimes, our ego attempts to control what we accept, how we receive feedback from others, or unwillingness to admit fault and change. Remaining in such a place, will limit your collaborative engagement with others. And, ultimately, it stunts your personal development; limit what and how great you become and live.
Keep in mind, we absolutely would not have made it this far in our civilization if we did not come together and work collectively – especially working through differences.
Learn How To Partner And Work With Others
1. Change your mindset and view partnerships as a valuable part of being and living well.
2. Take time to engage in inward self-reflection, and ask yourself:
- What attitudes do I have about working with others?
- What attitudes supports working in partnership, and what does not?
- What behaviors are encouraging, or limiting, my full engagement in creating positive partnerships?
- What actions are supporting my being part of healthy partnerships with others?
- What is one thing I can do differently to make my experience of working with others a little better?
3. Speak positively about the ability to work well with other; do so well before you can ‘feel’ or see it as such.
4. Inquire honest feedback from others and keep an open-mind. Check your ego to not quickly take offense, and take their feedback personally.
5. Set an intention on specific ways you will improve your attitude and actions when working with others.
6. Take daily action steps by repeating your intentions and following through.
So, ask yourself:
What are signs that my ego is controlling my experiences?
What partnerships can I intentionally foster?
How as my ego limited me from reaching my goals?
Consciously choose to Discover ~ Connect ~ Live
