You ever question yourself? We can sometimes be so critical of ourselves often questioning things we have thought, said or did. We are feeing the inner critic when we say things like: “what possessed me to do that?” or “why did I say that?” or “why won’t I stop thinking that?” Our self-critical questions can go on and on.
Questioning yourself is not bad, but it becomes so if it include criticism which often only leads to experiencing negative emotions that weighs you down. The reality is, questioning from a critical stance only adds negative energy to any situation, does not help you tap into solutions and limits gains in positive results.
WHY IS THIS RELEVANT?
You get positive results from asking questions from a curious and accepting attitude, without judgment. In doing so, you are not weighed down by the negative energy that comes with being self-critical, thereby allowing room for growth and change.
With that approach, you are engaging the process in a much more loving and kind way. And you will quickly get useful information to practice in support of your self-improvement.
Simply, how you engage with yourself internally will direct your external experiences. We must first love ourselves, to further receive love from outside of us.
If we allow ourselves to create internal critical questioning and statements, then we increase the possibility of also having a similar experience with others – where we allow others to be overly critical and weigh us down by their questioning and actions. Then, you are not only being self critical, but the negativity is further compounded by events outside of you. All is a recipe for unhappiness and suffering.
How would it look to love yourself while doing? What is it like to love yourself while feeling? In either instance, it requires putting a stop to engaging with the inner critic.
Ways To Stop The Inner Critic:
- Being the observer of your thoughts and feelings, without judgment
- Practice: “I am thinking…” or “I am feeling…”
- Acknowledge your emotions and just sit with it, noting how it affects your being (mind, body, spirit)
- Practice: “I am feeling…” then bring your mind inside of your body to complete a scan from your head to your toes noting the sensations
- Express affirming words and encouragement to yourself
- Practice: Speak positive words over yourself and situations: “You got this!” or “Great job with…”
- Practice: Speak positive words over yourself and situations: “You got this!” or “Great job with…”
- Doing your absolute best in everything that you do
- Practice: Set the intention to do your best in whatever you are part of
- Give yourself pats on the back
- Practice: Acknowledge what you did well and take your hand to pat yourself on the back
Criticizing how we are feeling is a bad habit that we must immediately refrain from doing. The ability to experiencing emotions is a beautiful part of being human. Emotions offer us information about how something affected us. Yet, often we judge ourselves for having emotions and attempt to push them away or ignore. We invalidate ourselves through such actions.
Instead of judging our emotions, we should experience them with open curiosity and accept them as is. You are loving yourself by simply acknowledging and accepting the feelings, without harsh critical judgment portrayed through harsh tones, words or questions.
You can begin today by practicing…
Now,
I accept, I’m feeling…
I accept, I’m thinking…
So, ask yourself,
What do I do that is critical of me?
What thoughts, words or actions discounts my feelings?
How can I further accept, love and support myself?